Wealth
can take many forms. In America, we tend to
think of wealth in terms of worldly
possessions – things like money, property,
or goods that can be bought or sold.
What about other types of
wealth and affluence that might be harder to
quantify – things that we might have in
abundance, but that may not be considered
wealth in a traditional sense? For example,
what value do we place on good health? How
rich is the person that is grounded
spiritually? How wealthy is a person that
has a large number of friends?
The last question raises a
much more important and fundamental
question, Is there wealth in relationships?
I believe the answer is yes!
People that develop and maintain
meaningful relationships, build wealth.
Strong relationships can lead to increased
economic value, just as dollars or gold or
real estate might. More importantly is the
fact that relationships can bring us
different types of wealth. Through
relationships we can also increase the
amount of joy, love, friendship,
camaraderie, happiness, memories, and good
feelings in our lives.
But how do we develop, grow,
invest in, and accumulate relationships?
Unlike putting money into stocks, or bonds,
real estate, or precious metals, investing
in relationships requires that we spend a
different resource – our time. Time is a
limited commodity that we each receive the
same amount of on any given day. No matter
how rich or poor, 24 hours per day is all
that each of us has to work with.
Defining
Wealth
What is wealth? One
definition of wealth might be the state of
having a great deal of money or property.
We often get an indication of how wealthy a
person is, using this definition, by
calculating their net worth – the current
value of assets minus liabilities. At one
time, millionaires (who are now much more
common) were considered to have great
wealth. A millionaire is a person who has a
net worth of $1 million or more.
I like the how Nick Murray,
in Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth,
defines wealth: “Wealth is freedom. It
isn’t a thing, nor is it an accumulation of
things….wealth is the positive freedom to
live the kind of life that is meaningful to
you, even – and especially – when you no
longer work to earn an income.”
One definition in Webster’s
comes much closer to describing the wealth
that can be garnered from relationships:
wealth – a large amount of something; an
abundance.
How then, can we build and
maintain not only “abundance” in our
relationships, but also relationships that
might give you the freedom to live a
meaningful life.
The Wealth
in Relationships
Relationships can have many
characteristics, but there are four traits
that seem especially important:
-
Relationships have
communication. After all, if there is
no communication, there is no
relationship (or maybe it’s just a bad
or less than optimal relationship).
-
Relationships can grow
stronger over time. Shorter term
relationships can be also be strong, but
meaningful relationships are rarely
one-time interactions.
-
In Relationships,
partners seek to meet each other’s
needs.
-
Relationships are about
giving.
Growing these characteristics
provide the possibility for accumulation of
wealth through relationships. That is, the
better our communications, connections over
time, and desire to meet needs, the more
valuable the relationship. Let’s take a
closer look at each of these items.
Great
Communications
When we understand others,
and they understand us, the potential for
living meaningful lives increases
substantially.
In business, day-to-day
activity revolves around communications.
While the means and methods of communicating
with one another have continued to climb to
new technological heights, the quality of
our communications seems to have diminished.
It’s no coincidence that
people who master “soft” skills such as
interpersonal relations, in addition to
their command of technology, industry or
other specific knowledge, are people who
rise to the top of most organizations.
When individuals use these
same communication skills to create deeper
and more meaningful relationships, they also
create a level of trust and understanding
that provides significant benefits. People
confide in them. People seek their
counsel. People want to help them. People
want them to understand. Some might even
say that others want these strong
communicators to prosper so that they can
continue to communicate and help others.
People who can clearly
communicate their vision of a meaningful
life to others are bound to establish
relationships that are rich in sharing,
understanding, and mutual achievement.
The Time
Value of Relationships
Relationships, like money
invested in the market, can increase in
value over time.
My relationship with Dan
Perkins is a good example of a relationship
enriched by time. I often tell others how
long we’ve known each other. I often say,
“Dan and I go way back, over 25 years ago….”
Having a long, rich history
causes us both to reflect on the good times,
the challenging times, the breadth of shared
experiences, and all the other things we’ve
gone through together. Because of our
connection, one that’s stood the test of
time, we do what we can to assist those we
have these relationships with.
Even among relationships with
extensive history, it’s often hard to
communicate as often as one might like –
life can get in the way. But strong
relationships find a way not to lose their
closeness, intimacy, vibe, and
understanding.
Meeting
Relationship Partner Needs
Meeting the needs of
relationship partners may be the most
important element of maintaining
relationships. We communicate with many
people, and we’ve known many others for a
long time, but whom do we really care for?
And even when we care for someone, whose
needs to do we seek to meet?
Whenever a relationship
partner takes action to meet a need of
another partner, we can see wealth in
relationships. Providing a key
business referral or introduction, sharing a
piece of key information, putting up much
needed capital, serving as a coach or
mentor, donating a skill or capability,
taking a risk – these are the types
of actions that have “value.” They have
“net worth.” And if many people are willing
to do these things for you, you have an
“abundance of wealth.” This is the wealth
in your relationships.
Relationships Are About Giving
Many people mistakenly
believe that wealth in relationships will
occur naturally. Not the case at all!
Wealth in relationships occurs when we give
the wealth we have to others.
In other words, it is when we
spend most of our time giving what we have
to others that we are most likely to have
the same types of things given to us. Our
giving has to be done without the
requirement or expectation that reciprocity
will occur. We have to give to others
simply because it’s our job as a good
steward.
Our skills, talents, riches,
knowledge, experiences, and wisdom have been
given to us so that we may give them,
wisely, to others. What good is it for us
to keep all of these gifts to ourselves?
We’ve been entrusted with all these things
so that we can help others meet their life’s
mission. We possess wealth that belongs to
many other people.
Grow Your
Wealth Today
Growing the wealth in our
relationships reminds me of an Ashanti
Proverb, that states:
“When a man is wealthy, he
may wear an old cloth”
Some wealthy people choose
not to wear the finest garments to enjoy
their wealth, and others – like those with
Wealth in Relationships – realize that true
wealth comes when we invest in our
relationship partners.
As we enter the New Year, I
hope you “get wealthy” as you pursue a
meaningful life!
Guy Summers
